We start life by winning a major contest, a do or die contest and seeing I am here writing this, I have won that contest and so have you.
But seeing we are now here, surely the game has changed!
After all, the world has 6 billion of us and so at least there are 6 billion that have won this contest and in most cases are happily cohabitating this beautiful planet.
I want to promote the idea that at a subconscious level, most of us have not yet come to terms with the fact that we have won that contest and need win no more. It seems to me that life is about living, not about winning or being the one with most money. Research after research has shown that we are not happier just because we win more of what modern society has to offer (money or related).
And yet, winning is everything. There are so many anecdotes that prove that this is how most of us live our life. The mother that is happy because her son is happily participating in a soccer team is looked-down upon by the other parent who insists that unless her son is the best in the team (ultimate winner), then just being happy participating is a true sign of a loser. The mother that is constantly unhappy pushing her daughter to get the best marks in class before she is truly happy with her. The creative child that receives all those messages that their siblings somehow are more appreciated because they are focused on an educational path that takes them to money.
All these and many other behaviors are manifestations of our basic and subconscious NEED to win at all costs and winning by it’s definition is being better than others.
Imagine if this concept of winning was redefined to be about the fun and contribution in participating. Imagine if there was no failure related stigma and people could choose how and where to participate independent of the connotations that their chosen field/role might have.
Imagine if the prostitute was appreciated for providing a service that obviously many frequent. Imagine if a receptionist could be proud of doing that all his life without feeling that somehow that means that he was a failure or that this role would never make them rich?
You might be thinking that I am just another leftist, loser hippie. And maybe I am, or not, but this definition or any other that you quickly bestow on me or the prostitute has origins in your psyche and maybe that is because of your upbringing, shame or fear, or that of your ancestor or theirs. Or that maybe you are still in Sperm mode.
It is about time we stopped living from our past and from the fact that we had to win to be alive and focus on where we are now, in life with another 6 billion beautiful people or more importantly in a beautiful family, relationship, company or movement. And can we possibly be happy to merely be an effective contributor to any of these or other groups? Could this be the answer to the reluctance, many of us have, to wake-up and go to work, or to positively participate in that meeting, or the burning desire to shaft that other employee just because in a particular moment they had an idea that seemed better articulated than mine.
And as a Leader, what are you doing to build your sustainable organization? Are you ensuring that your team has moved-on from merely being sperms and have evolved to being collaborative teams that, rather than undermining each other (and by default your organisation), they are instead focused on contributing the best of who they are in a role and environment that brings out the best of who they are.
Yes, it is your responsibility, you are the Leader!
Last modified: March 27, 2018